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Things that have a practical application, like toasters and screwdrivers and REASON are not romantic.
This lack of vocabulary can make other people feel incredibly insecure.As we are repeatedly shot down, we come to recognize that celebrations are, in fact, relevant to the rest of the world. Rather than falling head over heels for the nearest warm body, we construct a well-defined image of our ideal partner, break the dating process down into a series of actionable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with laser-sharp focus. Partners and dates want to know they are attractive, respected and loved for who they are without all the wrangling, controlling and mind games.Painful as it is, you've got to play with the other person, not manipulate them like pawns on a chessboard.It's not cheap for us to love someone, and we're often fearful of attaching value to mere "feelings" in case they turn out to be fleeting.Most INTJs won't admit to caring for someone until they are completely sure it's genuine.
Intimacy can burn rather slowly until we've sorted everything out.